Franciele Schopf

Hablemos sobre vulnerabilidad

La vulnerabilidad suele ser asociada a debilidad. Aprendemos a desarrollar mecanismos para esconder nuestros puntos vulnerables. Aprendemos que exponer sentimientos, miedos y vergüenzas es feo.

Es posible que muchos de ustedes ya hayan escuchado las charlas de Ted talks o leído algun libro de Brené Brown.

Ella es una trabajadora social estadounidense que estudió el sentimiento de vergüenza.

Y en una de las recopilaciones de datos para su investigación de la vergüenza, comenzó a notar algo que le llamó la atención, pero que no entendió del todo.

Fue entonces cuando reunió en un sobre las entrevistas de varias personas que tenían sentido de pertenencia, sentían merecedoras de amor y vivían plenamente. Ella, que era una buena investigadora, quería comprender qué componente tenían en común estas personas.

Después de mucho análisis, llegó a los siguientes puntos:

todos tenían:

Coraje/valentía
Aceptación de la vulnerabilidad
Conexión con los demás y
Autenticidad

Contrariamente a lo que se cree, el coraje y la vulnerabilidad están interconectados. Tienes que ser muy valiente para lograr exponer tus vulnerabilidades y ser auténtico.

Ser vulnerable es dejar caer las máscaras que usamos a lo largo de la vida, para ocultar nuestros miedos, vergüenzas, debilidades … y es así, cuando tenemos el coraje de mostrar nuestra verdad, ahí es cuando realmente nos conectamos con la gente, ahí es cuando se forman los enlaces.

Piensa conmigo: ¿te gustan las personas perfectas, que nunca tienen problemas, que siempre están bien, tienen la vida de ensueño, todo siempre sale bien?

Te garantizo que no. A nadie le gusta ni se conecta con estas personas, porque son aburridas y poco interesantes.

Tampoco auténticas, porque la imagen que intentan transmitir no es cierta, es solo una máscara.

Nos vinculamos con amigos, compartiendo alegrías, fiestas, buenos momentos, pero fundamentalmente también porque compartimos dolor, dificultades, pasamos vergüenza con ellos, saben de las caídas que tomamos, los dolores de barriga en momentos inapropiados, cómo nos sentimos cuando fallamos…

En una relación romántica también es así, solo te sientes bien en una relación donde puedes ser tú mismo con todas las rarezas que llevas.

Después de leer los libros de Brené, he comenzado a estimular en mis pacientes el coraje para ponerse vulnerable. Y obtuvimos muy buenos resultados.

Algunos pudieron aceptar mejor sus sentimientos, por vergonzosos que pensaron que podían ser, y fueron muy bien comprendidos y aceptados. Otros tuvieron el coraje de tener conversaciones difíciles y exponer todo lo que sentían y luego mejoraron la conexión con la persona con la que estaban.

Pero eso, como dice Brené, requiere coraje y exposición. Por otro lado, se cosechan la conexión y la autenticidad.

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